Amazing Grace - Amazing Grace

Last night as we were getting the kids ready for bed. I am rushing to put away the laundry that is piling up on the couch. Making sure the kids have had drinks and went potty before climbing into bed. We get upstairs and last night was "my" night to get Remi to sleep and Corey's night for Bo. (((we rotate nightly so we can both get snuggles in frequently with each of them))) Remi is at the age where EVERYTHING seems to be at her head height and her head finds it way to hit anything in the way including counter top corners, fridge handles, cabinet handles, shower faucet handles, desk edges, dog crate, and on and on and on. Poor girl can't catch a break- and tonight was definitely one of those nights. She had had it with life. We walk into her new, "big girl" room (minus a crib, mind you- the first time without a crib in our home since 2013), and Remi says to me, "Mama, rocking me will make me feel better". If you haven't followed me on Facebook then you don't know the many stories of #RemiAdelle --do yourself a favor and catch yourself up-- anyways- she is a smart little cookie with a HUGE personality, STRONG spirit, and basically, a "beast" per the recent nickname my husband has assigned to her. She's not your typical little 3 year old, by any stretch. She may look that way, I get it. She's super cute and people LOVE her, but she gives me more of a run for my money than anything, ever, has or will.

#RemiAdelle

I know that she just wants to stay awake longer and is trying to prolong the process any way possible. She could sell ice to an Eskimo, already. I say, "Ok, come on over and let's rock". I gave in. I thinking in my head how this was probably not the greatest idea and how/what/why did I let my 3 year old win? Again.

We sit and rock. She is quiet. Huh? Why is she so quiet? Remi, you feel ok? I start checking her forehead and back to see if they are warm. Nope, not warm. She's still quiet. WTH is happening right now?!

Remi says, "Mama, will you sing Amazing Gace (Grace) to me". That's my song to her, and only her. ***My heart smiled.***

For once, she didn't try working me, she didn't start asking me EveRy QuEsTiOn known to man, in the history of the world. She didn't get up 10x and with excuses like, "Mama, I gotta do my makeup. Mama, I gotta fluff Hulk's piwwow tor him. Mama, one more book. Mama, I need a drink- can I have some pop? Mama- when am I gonna have boobies like yours. Mama, why did birds fly? Mama, tan I get some Hulk Hands tomorrow? Mama, did Mawmaw(my mom) rock you when you were a liddle baby? Mama, where is Tutter's (Tucker - 14 year old Vizsla pup) brother, and daddy, and mommy?

She just said, "Mama, will you sing Amazing Gace (Grace) to me".

Despite the past week's occurrences, despite the day's headaches, despite the bustling past few hours, despite that I REALLY wanted to get the house cleaned up, despite "Tutter" (Tucker) pushing open her bedroom door, his nails clicking on her hard wood floor, and further delaying her sleep, I sang. And I sang. And I sang some more.

I was looking at her and thinking/shaking my head/crinkling my nose in confusion on why tonight was different. I over think. I used to over think everything. I chose to not "worry" about what was wrong at that moment, but take it all in. She fell asleep on my 6th time of repeating Amazing Grace to her. And sitting there in the silence, I took it all in. I let myself enjoy the moment. I'll never have that exact moment again, but last night I rocked her to sleep. I didn't let myself play 20 roles at that moment, as I normally would. I played ONE role- Remi's Mama. It felt amazing... and it all came full circle..."I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see."

Thank you Jesus for getting me here. Amen.